#15171, Edith Mary GRAY

Edith Mary or Maria, the name registered in the French Archives, lived her first three years in Tours, France where she was born. During that time, being looked after by a French nurse, she spoke principally French. Her childhood was then spent with her parents in Blackheath, London, spending holidays in Scotland at Glenquaich with the Gray family. She was the only child of her father’s family but had cousins on her mother’s side. In 1913, at the age of 17, she went back to France to perfect her French and, from her letters while there, needed her Father’s permission to change her hairstyle!

During WW1, with her mother and her Aunt Bessie, she helped at the local Herbert Brook Hospital, Greenwich for wounded soldiers. In 1919 she became engaged to Alfred John Kennett Todd, known as John or Toddy. In 1918 he had been shot in the shoulder by a sniper as he rescued a fellow soldier in France and was subsequently invalided out of the Queen’s Bays. Once married they set up a farm in Odam, Romansleigh, Devon, she learning how to churn butter, and he animal husbandry. Their home was a converted an Army hut that had been previously installed at the Gray’s home, Lessness Park, for the Argyll and Sutherland Highlanders stationed there during WW1.

Unfortunately the farm did not prove successful so they moved instead into the world of politics. Mary became an MP’s wife when John served as MP for Berwick on Tweed, Northumberland, from 1929-35. They had three children by then, Josephine, Evelyn, known as Buzz, and Matthew. They also adopted two of John’s orphaned nephews, Kenny and Hugh Lyster Todd. In addition they were asked to foster two more boys, Reggie and Brian Kent so the family became a large one of six boys and one girl. Mary joined in the local Pageants in Alnwick creating costumes and dressing up with enthusiasm; John took the part of Harry Hotspur on one occasion at Warkworth Castle though Mary fell off her horse and into the moat!

Their next home was in Yateley, Hampshire from 1936 where, during WW2, Mary gave billet to wounded soldiers and a home to Kenny Lyster Todd, his new wife Deborah and their baby Jenny. John volunteered to serve again in the Army and was posted to Cairo. This meant he was away for Josephine’s wedding to Robbie Mills in 1943, however Mary organised proceedings as best she could. She created a trousseau for Jo from a variety of sources and a wedding dress of broderie anglaise, a fabric that was not rationed. Mary asked guests to write to John with their memories of the day, which leaves a wonderful description of a war-time wedding we would not otherwise have.

Post war John and Mary moved to a less rambling home in Hartley Wintney, Hampshire, however Mary was more and more troubled with increasing weight and arthritis. This prompted a move to Bath with the idea of getting treatment for her painful joints and also of being close to her Uncle Chris’ wife, Aunt Sophie, who was blind and valued their close support.

Their first home in Bath was in Somerset Place, a house on five floors where the basement and attic were let, but where there were many stairs to climb. Another move was needed so they found Bathwick Hill House and installed a lift! John, or Toddy, as he became universally known, served on the local Council, was Chairman of the Bath Conservative Association as well as many other committees and they entertained groups such as the Royal Commonwealth Society. The Lodge at the entrance to their driveway served as a local base for the Conservative MP Sir Edward Brown.

Mary’s passions were for shopping (never really accepting a limit to her spending), for hats, for caravanning and for plastic! She was enthralled by anything plastic that she enjoyed for its convenience and durability. She also saved everything from daily newspapers to her several trunks of Gray family papers, which she treasured and preserved for posterity. It now forms a remarkable social history record.

In 1970, aged 80, John died following a heart attack, while they were on holiday in Scotland. This meant another, final move for Mary to supported living at Headbourne Worthy House, King’s Worthy, Winchester. She died at the age of 78 leaving Jo, Buzz and Matthew, 11 grandchildren and ‘two steps’, the daughters of Matthew’s wife, Viv from a previous marriage.

Nicky Hibbin